SPACEBALLS: THE MERCHANDISING CATALOG
by The Byzantine Knight
Summary: Merchandising! Merchandising! Where the REAL money from the movie is made! See full summary inside.


**What you are now reading is not an actual chapter, but the announcement for a future story I am writing now.**

 **You see, there has been a new breakthrough in fanfiction writing:**

 **INSTANT FANFICTIONS!**

 **They're published online before they're even finished!**

 **That is why you now reading a preview for a story, I am writing before it's even finished.**

 **Everybody got that? Good!**

 **Now prepare to read forward!**

* * *

I, and everyone else out there, makes such a big deal about the 40th anniversary of _Star Wars_ that sometimes it can be easy to forget that there are other classic films that celebrate a big anniversary this year. One such example is the 30th Anniversary of one of the funniest films of all time, the film that gives great helmet, and the greatest _Star Wars_ Spoof of all time... _SPACEBALLS_!

While looking over the archives of this website, I was shocked to found out that there actually is a _Spaceballs_ The FanFiction Archive! So after getting over the shock that, that is actually on this website, I knew right away that I had to write _Spaceballs_ The FanFiction.

But what would it be about? Everybody else has already attempted spoofs of the Prequel Trilogy, the Sequel Trilogy, _Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money_ , and _Spaceballs III: The Search for Spaceballs II,_ so what could I do that was different and fun to read? _  
_

I figured that since one of the great joys of being a _Star Wars_ fan is the wide selection of merchandise available for collecting (it's a fun hobby that never gets old), I still await for actual collectibles based on _Spaceballs_ , or any Mel Brooks film for that matter, to be made available (I still want my _Spaceballs The Flamethrower_ and replica Schwartz rings!) and since these days we get all those collectibles that celebrate the films of the 1980s, I decided that what I needed to do was create an ideal catalog for the wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, **_WIDE_** , selection of merchandise that would ideally be available for _Spaceballs_ , if Yogurt could actually get the merchandising rights available for us to buy all that stuff.

Admit it; if you had the chance to buy _Spaceballs The Flamethrower_ , you would do it! _  
_

I am here to celebrate the 30th Anniversary of _Spaceballs_ by writing the story you are about to read now:

 ** _SPACEBALLS THE MERCHANDISING CATALOG_**

In this catalog we will see merchandising like (but not limited to) _Spaceballs_ the toys, _Spaceballs_ the clothes, _Spaceballs_ the bed sheets, _Spaceballs_ the holiday decor, _Spaceballs_ the sports gear, _Spaceballs_ the furniture, _Spaceballs_ the place mats, _Spaceballs_ the toilet paper, _Spaceballs_ the books, _Spaceballs_ the video games, _Spaceballs_ the keychains, _Spaceballs_ the food, _Spaceballs_ the lunchboxes, _Spaceballs_ the costumes, _Spaceballs_ the replicas, _Spaceballs_ the instant cassettes, _Spaceballs_ the music _,_ and of course _Spaceballs_ the flamethrowers! (The kids love that one!)

This catalog could go on forever; perhaps longer than _Spaceball One_ itself! The possibilities for merchandising are endless!

I should also point there are **ACTUAL** pieces of _Spaceballs_ merchandising actually out there to buy and they will also be listed here.

To know which pieces are actually real, the listing will be in **BOLD** , underlined, and be surrounded by the dollar symbol "$" and look something like this;

 **$ _Spaceballs_ : The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack$  
**

You will know that this item is real and is available for purchase (but it will not be easy to find)

It is also a great chance for me, as both a collector and a fanboy, to spoof, satirize, ridicule, and otherwise make fun of the merchandising industry. As Mel Brooks himself say, "Only spoof what you love'" so spoofing the merchandising industry shouldn't be too hard.

Everybody got that? Good!

An actual chapter will be uploaded _soon_. How soon? (Don't ask; not even Dark Helmet could figure that out.)

 **If you can read this, you don't need glasses.**


End file.
